The Scriptural Foundation For Family

God had a plan for marriage from the beginning of creation! Marriage was first ordained by God in the Garden of Eden where we read in Genesis chapter 2:

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.” …Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…”  Genesis 2:18, 22-25

The first thing we see here is creative order. God saw the man and said that it was not good for him to be alone. Humankind is created for relationship. Therefore, God created woman. The first man and woman were special – higher than the animals – and created in the image of God! This was a divinely appointed relationship.

In the New Testament, when Jesus was asked about marriage and divorce, he hearkened back to this passage found in Genesis:

…at the beginning the Creator made them male and female … For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh … so they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.  Matthew  19:4-6

Adam and Eve were the first model for marriage.  Jesus points out that in marriage, couples are to LEAVE father and mother and UNITE with each other to become one flesh, which is the foundation for family. 

One of the earliest commands in scripture is found in Genesis 1:28 and directed to the married couple:

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Families are God’s plan! When children are born – they join what God has already established - the sacred union between a man and a woman.

What if you are doing this alone? If you are in a single-parent situation, you are not alone! God has a plan for you and your family. His grace and provision will lead you to fulfill His calling for you as a parent.

We’re a family- what now?

Growing a family does not, and should not, replace the foundational relationship as husband and wife. Of course, our daily dynamics change when we welcome children into our home. We as new parents are certainly faced with the temptation to make this new little precious gift the center of our world. It is easy to crowd out the importance of prioritizing the marital relationship. But what does scripture tell us about our primary duty as parents?

Proverbs 22:6 admonishes us to “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

The word “train up” comes from the root word chanak – related to the word Chanukah (yes, the Jewish holiday) which means dedication or initiation. The festival of lights celebrates a miracle of provision that took place during the re-dedication of the Jewish temple. Interestingly, this word it is also used to describe “discipline.”

In this scripture we see the promise of an “if” – “then” relationship. Our duty as parents is to discipline the children in the way they should go.  If we train them up in the right way, then later they will not depart from it.  The word “old” in this passage actually means “mature” in the sense of reaching manhood (or womanhood) at puberty. 

The Apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:1-2:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother — which is the first commandment with a promise — so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth (citing Deuteronomy 5:16)

Our job as parents then must demonstrate a three-pronged approach to obedience to God’s command:

1.    We must first model God’s commands in our own lives, which includes that we honor our own parents (and our elders and those in authority)

2.    Honor our marriage as we partner together to raise our children.

3.    Teach our kids to honor us as their parents through obedience and “training up in the way they should go.”

In doing these things, scripture promises us that it will go well with our kids and result in long life. God’s original plan for marriage and family has remained unchanged! And through scripture, we have the tools we need to be successful. The Apostle Paul’s message could not be more clear!  Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. And through the obedience of honoring God’s design for marriage, training our kids, and obeying our parents, our family will be blessed.

All scripture references are taken from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.